Power Changes You (and it’s not a metaphor)
I’ve seen many times people in positions of power mistreating others, trampling over everything, qualities I detest in anyone but even more so in those who can cause harm.
I discovered that it’s not that easy. Power corrupts biologically. It makes you impulsive, creates an illusion of invincibility, and the most complicated part: it turns off your empathy. Your brain at times stops processing others’ pain the way it used to.
It’s a strange feeling. You haven’t changed, but that same power convinces you that you make the rules and it’s okay to break them. As if it removed all those inhibitory brakes that normally stop you, and worst of all, in that position everyone else validates it, as if you had a magical license to be a bad person… that’s where the damage begins.
And no, this is not a quality of successful people that got them there. They’re simply brilliant people who are destroying what they’re trying to build.
Recipe to Get There
It’s rare to find a person who agrees with these violent control practices, at least in my environment. But if it were so rare, why is it so widespread in the world?
I think we need to take off that mask about people with ‘power’ and accept something: those who reach those positions, most of the time, don’t do it because they know more or are more capable. Reaching those positions is as simple as talking more than everyone else.
The system we have rewards those who fill empty spaces, even when they have nothing good to say. It’s the person who constantly interrupts, who rephrases what you said but with more talk, who has opinions about everything without listening to anyone. That person has the greatest chance of reaching that position of power.
It didn’t take me long to realize that the world is full of these characters who fill silence with empty words. These people who are busy talking are not listening. So in love with their own voice, they drown out the voices that really matter.
We constantly confuse making noise with leadership, and that’s where it hits close to home for me. I spent my whole life working to make sure my words were full of content, and if I didn’t know a topic, to keep quiet and learn from those who had an informed opinion.
In this world, reflective people, those who think before speaking, who actually have valuable things to contribute but don’t constantly need validation… lose.
Who Do I Want to Be?
I was lucky to find and be able to share with the right people. I learned from these people that the real job of those who lead, in any situation, is not to impose themselves or accumulate recognition, but to make others shine.
We never liked giving orders, we simply found the idea of leaving a legacy in others without expecting anything in return comforting: doing good for the sake of doing good and making clear what things are really important.
Respect and consideration for other people are not a weakness in my world—don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Leadership is not measured in KPIs, metrics, profits, or other empty things we pursue like fetishists in this stupid race we all play. It’s measured in the people we share with and learn from along the way; in the ideas that flourish because they have the freedom to do so; and in the decisions others make while gaining confidence because we know how to let go of that disgusting control that constantly limits us.
Have you seen the movie “Pay It Forward”? I think that’s what life is about. If bad people knew what a good business being good is, they’d be good at least for business, and in a utilitarian world, practicing kindness is a revolutionary act.